Sunday, March 2, 2008
To HELL with those wretched election campaigners!!
As if we have not seen enough of them with their mug-shot portrait posters, banners and buntings staring at you from every direction and corner of the street to make us puke till the next General Election, these usually hibernating 'Kanni-labu' YB again wannabes are now suddenly so available and seen ..leading their entourage of ball-lickers tagging along everywhere…lagi more puke la!!!
Popping up at the wet market, coffee shops, food-courts and just about anywhere putting up a front of smiles and friendliness they saved up the last 4 years or so... even the privacy of your time at home is not spared during these cursed campaigning days!
Imagine having to rush out from my bathroom to answer the door with just a towel to cover my ‘ding-a-lings’ and then finding myself an audience of grinning smiles and an outstretched hand looking for mine to shake!( the hand, I mean)
Obliging that handshake through a half opened door was my first lesson to 'never oblige a politician' (especiallly at the ballot box). Niamah!...that fler's handshake was so vigorous that it almost shook off my towel... to reveal my very own 'DAP symbol'!!! Had that been a silent night, he could have probably heard my chime-bell version of ‘JUST CHANGE’ cling-clanging under my towel!.... hahahaha!!!!
So as not to be caught unprepared again, I came out with some plans on how I would response just in case I bump into these 'great pretenders' again…
The 4 Golden Ways on HOW TO RESPONSE when approached by YB wannabes you dislike & hate:
1) When offered those leaflets & mug-shot posters, politely say ‘Mai liao, I still got the ones you gave me 5 (or maybe 10) years ago...still the same one hor?’
2) If you are seated at your table, don’t even look up. Just pretend you are concentrating on your noodles/newspaper/magazine and wave them away when they come to your table saying “ Mai! Mai!..bay liao” or “Moi, moi…mai chor ler” like you have mistaken them for DVD or Lottery tickets peddlers.
3) Put on a smile and ask politely “Are you new here? Have not seen you around before keh???” even though he was the YB for the last 5 years.
4) Take out your hand-phone and pretend talking to someone at the other end loudly “ KIT SIANG’s ceramah tonite ar? Where ..where? Anwar also ? oh good! Correct! Correct! Correct!........”
While putting up the other hand indicating that they have to wait if they want to talk to you.