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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Alien vs 9pek9bo - The abduction protection

Upon my reappearance after MIA for a month here, I was amused by the following comments from my blogger friends-

tsp- “thought you went missing in action to some planet mars...haha..”

JoZefoo - “you're back! i tot you were kidnapped by aliens!”

Mafoolat! These fellas must be soothsayers of the 21stcentury!
They could not be any more ‘chun’….. I was indeed abducted by some alien beings just after reading and publishing their ‘prophecies’!

It happened while I was taking the rare opportunity of being home alone to have a nice ‘paklah-ing’ nap on the sofa…

Like all other alien abductions, leempek was taken aboard their motherfarker-ship for interrogations and studies as a sample inhabitant of this planet Earth. (don’t blardy ask me! It’s not my fault that even with those big bulky eyes they were so blind in their choice of sampling .. ok?)

There, like a guinea pig, leempek was poked and prodded all over (except the place where Sai’Foo likes it best of course!)

Contrary to those fierce and hostile stereotyped alien characteristics we see in movies, my abductors were NOT anything like that and they didn’t even need to wear those' NAnti Rasuah’ buttons to convince me that they were such a good, friendly, courteous and very well mannered lot.

Naturally, I felt comfortable and even gave them my best smile asking, "Hey guys! You got Facebook or Friendster or not?"

Alien: Huh? It's strange!!!..why aren't you afraid of us?

Me: Why should I be?

Alien: We're Martians you know? ... you have been abducted/arrested/kidnapped by us and may not be able to see your family or even the planet Earth for that matter again! Aren't you scared and worried?

Me: Ohhh!Don't be silly..It's nothing that scary! Back where I came from, people abduct or arrest you to protect you...Nice leh? hahaha! You don't believe you go and ask that 'Hamik Sai' fler.

Alien: ??????Where are you from?

Me: Ohhh! I'm a MereyShian!

Alien: MeReysHiAN? Oh My hOLy GReeN MARtiAN sHiT!!!! Let's not waste our time here..these species aren't intelligent enough to be a threat to our planet”

They then stamped me with this and threw me out of their motherfarker-ship immediately...

and I woke up on my sofa unharmed except for my legs, which are now a little longer after the pulling just like yours... hahahaha!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Welcoming LAI WAN SIK! (916) my kind of Malaysia Day!

Oh weeeee!!! After a month’s break which coincided with the holidays of 'those things better not mention at night’, leempek is back 9pek9bo-ing here again!

The August month that went by was indeed a helluva busy and eventful month for me, not that it has anything to do with Hell-gate being opened! You bet, I was even more busy than those ahem! ahem!... ‘better not mention at night’ holiday makers on earth!

and now ....TA’ DAHHH! here’s sweet sweet September, the month I was anxiously waiting for .. all excited and anticipating for a‘new DAWN for Malaysiato arrive..

Please tell me….is the 916 number ‘chun’ or not?

Just staring at this number gets me all EXCITED!!! Dunno why leh?...Whenever I look at it, I find myself smiling silly and my day brightens up. (Oops! Damn it! I just revealed my most vulnerable time for Charles to strategically plan his robbery on me! I can imagine him hypnotizing me with his chanting, “916!, 916!..916 ..Dad, can I have some $$$ to buy this?)

While the number 916 looks and sounds pleasant to many like me, I read that on the other hand, it also did strike terror to some 'BohNow -hamkalings' like as if they had encountered those things better not mention at night ’… causing them to shit in their pants that were covering their shrunken balls and running off in haste to hide in some Taiwanese farms!

Let’s hope those 'BohNow-hamkalings' find a herbal cure for their diarrhoea and their shrunken balls there the mean time, here's what leempek recommend to stop their purging & to inflate back their balls...."tRY IT! yOU'll LiKE IT!" so says that Uni drop-Out who swears in the name of 'GAWD'....

Let’s all cross our fingers, arms, legs, balls or whatever it takes and you have it, to PRAY for the realization of this very much awaited 916, the only light we have in the present DARKNESS befalling our beloved nation.