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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Warriors March at the Opening of UOB Sales Convention'08 in Genting Highland on 19th Jan

Our Northern Region as Chinese Jiang Jun warriors
(the colorful costumes and flags as planned stood out perfectly as I thought it would be)

Central Region (KL) as Commando warriors

(army hats with camouflage fern/lalang leaves would have made them
even more interesting....if u asked me)

Tony leading the MST reps as StarWars Warriors

Southern Region (Johore) as 'Fu thau Tong'( the Axe Gang)

..all armed with an axe each in their hands ready to 'Hoi pheen'!

East Malaysia Region marching in as Rangers

to the tune of one dunnowat M'sian patriotic song.


The 'Pei Ma' (NORTHERN REGION) !!!!

Walau eh! never seen soldiers going to war smiling like 'tiok beh peoh' like this wan leh!

That's me at the bottom left holding Charles's pouch like auntie bag while he snapped these pics.

The Not So Straight Times

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Our sharing session before bedtime

The 3 'kokonuts' at one of the b4 bedtime sharing session in 2006
( earlier pics available but release form not approved by Charles to publish..hahaha!)

Pre-bedtime has always been an entertaining time for our small family here all these years. While it is supposed to be a kind of ‘Dad-Opened for Discussion’ hour, a sharing time for us to put forth proposals and all family related business... it usually turns out to be more like 'Dad-Opened for Attack' hour because this is the time where I have to take off my ‘dad stripes’ and join in the rank!

Without the DAD authority card, none to say I am no longer a sideliner in their name calling and teasing games…ending with names such as ‘LAU-EH’ (the old one) or ‘TUAPOOI’ (meaning fatty... ahemmm! this is only the opinion of two BOKASI CHUP CHENG KIA anorexics nia!) Oops! I just cursed myself…hahaha!

No matter how I tried making this sharing session a serious matter, with this Charleskey the circus escapee around, it somehow always end up more of a teasing/jokes & riddles session... making us all go to bed still laughing and smiling like fools!

Here are some of those funny riddles we shared over the years.....

Who’s that pak haji who lost his motorcycle?

If Playboy Magazine is scouting for a Punjabi girl to feature in centerfold, who would you recommend?
Boh Cheng KAUR (not wearing pants in Hokkien)

Why do we assume Hokkiens adore Gandhi’s mother?
It’s because they often exclaim “GANDI LAU-BOH!”

Why the Chinese Hakkas dislike the ‘MACARENA’ song
It’s because it sounds vulgar to them …. ‘MAK KAI LIN AR?’

Why Cantonese do not carry ‘Charles Jourdan’ bags anymore?
Because it says, “CHA CHI CHOR TANNG” (cumbersome to carry)

Do you have any idea what a blind deer is called?
NO EYE DEER (No Idea!)

Why nobody dances the ‘A-GO-GO’ at the disco anymore.
It’s because most of the leg muscles of those who know ‘A-GONE-GONE’!!

How do you make your nenek/grandma/ah phorr do the ROCK & ROLL?
Add wheels to her rocking chair!

What is worst than finding a worm in your half eaten durian?
Finding Half a worm!

Why is the skeleton afraid to cross the Jalan Raya (road)?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Preparations for the Annual Sales Convention.

Preparation for our coming national sales convention at Genting Highlands this month has kept me busy and unable to find time to ‘9pek9bo’for a while.

As a working committee member (a.k.a. ‘kaypo’ ppl) of the Northern region for this event, I was entrusted with the job to organize, design and make the costumes for our group of 20 +1(commander) Chinese warriors to march, but more likely stroll in during the Opening Ceremony of the convention. (Diuuu! why can't they go in as aboriginal warriors.. then, I only have to make 21 pieces of loin cloths to cover their groins only lorr!..summore saves time, saves $$$$! and airy for their 'ding-alings' mah!)

So, after putting my old rusty brain into overtime gear to come out with the visuals and with the help of Charles, we made a prototype headgear. Last weekend we ‘transformed’ our sales office into a Santa’s workshop and exploited our ‘elves’ to mass produce the headgears.

My visual plan.

Mass production of the headgears by my colleagues ( the overgrown 'elves')

We had so much fun (..or maybe just me, since I was only working with my vocal cord ..hehehe!), we intend to be back this weekend again to make 16 battle flags and to brainstorm for a ‘War-cry’ as required.(funny.. has been wondering why soldiers need to cry before killing their enemies in war… isn’t it the job of the victims’ families to do just that? Hahaha!)

The finished headgears..modelled by Charleskey here.

Nice onot? velly same same like the 'toong toong charnng' opera leh?

Also, as the ‘Paul Moss’(underqualified one, of course) of my company, I have to audition and groom our Idol-contestant and the backup dancers (representing our northern region) for the night dinner event and incidentally, our idol representative this year has chosen to sing “Ja-jam-bo”( dunno whether this song is older or I am…lol!)
Sharing with you here are some pics of the dance practices…

The song goes something like" Ja jaa mmm bo... ni kann wor, wor kann nee...."

Saturday, January 5, 2008

The ‘Unseens’ in my home!

I don’t care ‘what-defahq’ or ‘who-defock’ these ‘unseens’ are but if I can ever lay my hands on this ‘Mr. Doe Noe’ or ‘Mr. Knott Mee’, it’ll be hell nearer to home for them!

After all, these two sonnaguns and their chinese cousins who go by the names of ‘Ng Chee Toh @Ng Chye Leh’ and ‘Ng Hai Ngor@ Ng Si Wa’ have been making my life even more hellish than Mr. S.A.TAN’s ever since they moved into my home to make it theirs.

Things could go missing, tap left running, dirty tissues strewn on floors or the ever popular opened fridge door act. Arghhhh!!!... there seems to be no end to their mischievous endeavors!

If you ask me how do I know it’s them, I’ll say I know and can even swear at my mother’s grave ( even though my late mom was never buried but cremated) that it’s them and nobody else because my two ‘promise to die if I lie’ good sons, Jayboy and Charleskey SAY SO!

It has always been them and no one else because whenever I asked, “Who-defock left or threw this….. here?” the quicker than speedy gonzale response had either been ‘Knott Mee’,
‘Doe Noe’, ‘Ng Chye’ or ‘Ng Si Wa’ and never any of the us tenants here so far!

Sad to say, I am afraid that my never results yielding hunt for these unseen pranksters has taken its toil on me after all these years, with signs of insanity slowly surfacing… If not, how else could you explain why a dad who works ten hours a day in a kiasu bank by day and with tons of house chores to slog by night, starts blogging?

Please report to me if you come across the above mischievers..ok?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Tickling Ironies

We just could not stop laughing at Charles for having the word “cute” appearing in his Cbox so very often lately...and "Hi Cute!" became the fad within these four walls of our home these few days.

While this word 'cute' may have a different meaning now to the present trend of young users and meant to be complimentary, it was once defined in the dictionary as “something ugly but adorable”! In fact, that was how I started calling Jboy (Charleskey’s bro) “hey ugly!” during his fair share days of this very ironic word.

This, of course is only one of the many baffling ironies in human behavior (‘Mau toon’ in chinese I think) that I find interestingly entertaining.

But the mother of all human ironies is….
why we have to take so much trouble coaxing our babies to learn as many words as possible knowing that later on in their lives, we have to tell them to shut-up and NOT talk so much? ( esp. when parents start losing in an argument with these ‘now big and clever liao’ teenagers.. hehehe!)

Recently, in the midst of Charleskey’s stressing SPM ( examination) days,
I joked, “isn’t it a bad deal, Charlie … you have to write and give them tons of papers so as to get back just one from them? ‘sit pun seng lee la’!”

…and if for whatever godammit reasons, the ‘better-than Africa’ edu. System don’t give my Charles that piece of paper which is no bigger than the many we gave them, dad can make one for him …and this is what I have in mind….

school drop out cert

...we can even hang this and wait for those impressed BTC (Bo TAK CHEK) aunties to come and comment, " Aiyo! your Charlekey very pandai la!" ..hahaha!