Handy Products for 2-LAN people!

After an extensive survey, leempek found that people get tulan for many various reasons and on further research, found some very handy products that may help.

For example, if you tulan your boss because he has been acting like an asshole, all you need is this Boss’s Asshole Sharpener…..

Each time you cannot ‘tahan’ the boss ..juz shaft the longest pencil you find deep into the sharpener. With a little imagination…You’ll find that sharpening pencils has never been that PLEASURABLE before!

BANGBALLS KNOCKER

If you are often getting unwanted visitors in the form of salesmen & peddlers who never give up ringing your doorbell…You don’t need to shout “Mai La!” anymore. Just replace your doorbell with this BANGBALLS KNOCKER

and let them bang balls for as long as they want! Eventually they will get the message from their very own actions.

The BOOB RADIO!

For those who often get tulan-ed because you have colleagues with itchy fingers ..tuning and meddling with the office radio especially just when your favorite ‘wait so long’ song came on air, here’s what you need…. The BOOB RADIO!

They’ll get so ‘paiseh’ that they won’t even want to go near it!

The PEE PEE GLASS

It’s customary for us to serve drinks to visitors but what if the visitor is the ‘si-pek bey tahan’ type whose sole purpose of visiting is to brag and brag and brag until you really get tulan? The answer to your woe here is The PEE PEE GLASS!

By the time he/she brags and drinks enough… your ”DRINK MY PEE!” message should be clear enough!

TAG

I got tagged by HooiHong and well.. since HH is such a wonderful newfound friend from the ShoutOut Community, I guess I might as well obliged and have some fun doing it.

The tag came with this Original Instruction:
Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

But being that 9pek9bo me .. I somehow chose to read it as:

Remove ONE question from below, and add in your most silly question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 more people sillier than you in your list, list them out. Gag and tie the person who tagged you (HooiHong, in my case) to the end of the lamp post! Notify his/her loved ones in his/her chat box that he/she has been gagged & tied because he tagged you. Whoever does this will have blessings from all.

1. What's your favorite anime at the present time?
Japanese anime: I dunno any.

African Gum anime: I dun have any.

2. Given the chance, what special ability/power would you like to have?

The power to have the Speed of Lightning ….so that I can run around a coconut tree naked and attempt to screw myself for taking on tags like this!

3. How do you think about yourself?

I usually think of myself as a wise person…but after I started doing this tag, I’m beginning to have reservation on this thought cos’ I’m feeling silly!

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

How about our Bank Negara’s vault?

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

Strike MILLION$ in lottery!

6. Do you have a crush now?

Not yet (except for the orange crush in my fridge) but may have to crush somebody’s head soon!

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?

Already lost my mind doing this tag…what else can I be afraid of loosing?

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?

One million nia? I thought I said ‘MILLION$’ in Question 5 above! ..U CHEAT!

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

Yes!! I’ll confess to her… then proceed to confess also that I’m a bit retard and always make very lousy choices and then…better RUN for my life!

10. Do you like to have own domain?

What’s the difference? ..can ‘do’ and ‘main’ as I like?

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?

None! Simply because those I have to hate are called ‘binatang’ and no longer referred as ‘person’ anymore!

12. What is your ambition?

At this age…passing a day without having to 9pek9bo already an achievement liao!

13. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

I prefer they point out my fault..... so that I have reason to bash them up!

14. What do you think is the most important in your life?

OMG! You mean there’s still life in me?

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?

I am ..but unfortunately, my wallet is NOT sharing the same interest!

16. What’s your reason for obliging to do this tag?

Need proof of my insanity!

17. Why does it hurt when you punch someone?

Dunno why wor! Anyone reading this post willing to volunteer for an experiment?

18. Is there anything that you have done which you regret?

Yes! Displaying my silliness in this tag…. haiz!

19. Are you hungry right now?

Hungry for food- NO!, hungry for $$$$$- YESSS!!!!

20. Do you think that this survey is totally useless?

No! Definitely NOT! At least we now know why our Bolehland gaomen always say bloggers are people with nothing better to do. So true..so true!

Note: NOT TAGGING ANYONE because I just could not find 8 ‘sillier than me’ persons to do this tag.

IN SEARCH OF SWEET MULUT PEOPLE

In contrast with the Cbai mulut people mentioned in my earlier post...
HAPPY PEOPLE are always generous with their pleasant compliments .. making them the most desired species to be around with..anytime!

They are HAPPY simply because they make others happy and the happiness rebounds back to them!

In their perceptions of people and situations, they focus ONLY on POSITIVE THINGS . They don’t CRITICIZE others ..neither their own SELVES.

They DON’T go around professing,

"OMG! I'm FAT ... Tua Pooi liao lah!"

"I'm BORING... ...If I talk, people would surely set themselves to SNOOZE mode”

"I’m STOOPID! ....see how I’m gonna screw up in this test!" ......

because they know by criticizing themselves, they BECOME what they think they are, and it effects their performances.

Criticism even on oneself .. IRRITATES people and it makes friends want to smack you on your mulut!

Self criticism is not humility........... it's total STUPIDITY!

HAPPY PEOPLE never criticize others as well. Instead they are quick to detect the good things in others and are equally speedy in complimenting them..

"Wow! That is a nice dress!"

"You are an inspiring teacher!."

"You have a such a nice smile!"

Isn’t it wonderful & nice to be around this kind of HAPPY PEOPLE who choose to see ONLY our positive sides? Better still, why don’t we emulate these HAPPY PEOPLE by looking for just ONE QUALITY in every person we meet today.. and GIVE THEM A COMPLIMENT!

Remember, a compliment is NOT flattery! Flattery is insincere. A compliment is SINCERE RECOGNITION of someone's qualities. Everybody feels UNDER-APPRECIATED and when you give them compliments, you light up their day and in return, they LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY to ShoutOut!

The ShoutOut Chatbox community successfully celebrated its’ 2^nd birthday last night in Penang, attended by 30 odd shouters including Charles and me.

Though it was just a simple buffet dinner gathering without any planned events to go with, it was truly one enjoyable evening of casual mingling and camwhoring fun that deserves my ‘Two Thumbs UP!’

I have now no regret putting aside my earlier fears of the odd feeling being in the company of people probably half my age and yielding to Charles’s enticement and temptation of an opportunity to meet up with those nice and friendly members. After all, the theme of the night was ‘The Odd and the Oddess’ and what could be more peculiarly odd than having a father & son sharing the same friends? Lols!

To you Lasker & Elise, I would not only like to say, “You both deserve my applauding congratulations for a job very well done!” but also, “ You both truly deserve to have one another!”

For those directed here from CharlesKey Cbox..

Once again, the covetous MR. ANONYMOUS (who cowardly hid under names such as usuck.net, artist, musician and photographer) struck and left his immature malice on the Cbox of CharlesKey.net..... reminding me of my recent post on “Dealing with Cbai Mulut People” (Please scroll down a little to read this relevant post and the comments).

cHINAtOwN - iT'S iN tHEIR nAMES

This is Chinatown by day.. and when the sun sets,
guess what trade is Mr. Chee Koh Loh and Miss Yew Wan Peh plying here?

9PEK & 9SOH -the moronic couple

The matchmaker told 9PEK & 9SOH she had found a suitable match for her one year old daughter. Her future husband was only two, one year older than she was.

9PEK and 9SOH then went into their room to discuss about the matchmaker’s proposal….

9PEK: Lou phor, our daughter’s only one year old nia and the boy’s age double hers worrr…!

When she becomes twenty, then her husband must be forty liao ..issit?

Like dat, our daughter has to marry an old man meh?

9SOH: Lohkoong, You salah count orledi la!

Where got like dat count one?

Our daughter is one year old now but in one year’s time her age will be same same with the boy liao maa!

Dealing with CBai mulut people!

Ever occurred to you that when we look for good things in situations and people, good things will appear and likewise when we want to see negative things.. It’s even more there for you to grab!

Unwise and strange it may seem, but in our perception of people we often choose to see ONLY the ugly thorns but NOT the sweet roses.

At a gathering I once attended, a poor lass who probably took days to build up enough courage to wear something different she thought would make her look more attractive was instead greeted with this devastating comment-

“Aiyo! Please lah! Legs like elephant’s also want to wear mini-skirt ah?”

Niamahfoolat! That poor girl has all the other good assets for her close friend with a run-away mulut to comment but yet she chose to embarrass her instead! (Why she so like dat one?)

Another crude remark I once overheard but must admit that it was so hilarious I had to join in the laughter was –

“OMG! So old or-ledi ..still want to wear low-neckline dress revealing cleavage for people to see your nen nen ar!” teased a member of the ‘chiak pa bo su choe’ auntie club.

Another added, “Not nen nen susu anymore la… already yogurt storage barrels liao!” LOLs!

Some sipek jialat people can really spend their whole life looking for faults in others…and they proudly tell you, “I’m only telling the truth what!”

These are people I call ‘HAPPINESS PARASITES’ who go around robbing others of their happiness because somehow ..they can only be happy when others are not! They probably figure that when everyone else is a loser, then they must be the winner even though they haven’t even tried!

When encountering such cilaka CBai mulut people the best thing you can do for yourself is-

1) Not to be reactive.You actually have a choice over your emotions. You can choose to feel hurt OR choose NOT to let others spoil and rule your day! The happiness of your day should be entirely in your own hands and NOT theirs (mouths included)

2) Do not be like them looking for faults of others or your own. Instead, start looking for the good positive things in situations or people.

Most importantly, cultivate a good habit of GIVING COMPLIMENTS to others generously to make their day so that in turn, they’ll make yours!

..and I'm saying," YOU OUGHT TO BE SUCH A KIND SWEET SOUL for giving time to read this post!"