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Monday, February 23, 2009

I love sleeping naked!




'Because God created it, the human body can remain nude and uncovered and preserve its splendor and its beauty.'
Pope John Paul II








I love sleeping naked.
Oh yes, I do! I really love to sleep naked especially when it’s hot. Err…. I mean when the weather is hot and not when uncle is excitedly hot…ok?

Before you go “Eeeek! Uncleeeee! Why you so like that one?” please bear in mind that no matter what some cavemen ‘phor-liticans’ (including that Botox buttock-face hamkaling fella) say, there’s nothing wrong or immoral about being naked in privacy. I just don't see how going naked in the privacy of your own room can be disgusting, shameful or damaging to our culture. Should we be ashamed of what’s real about us, about our naked skins? I don’t know what those hamkalings have underneath their sheep’s clothing, what I have is just a ‘friendly weapon’...ahem! ahem!

If ‘godly’ but yet corrupted in mind and deeds ‘phor-liticans’ find their own naked skins unbearable, it’s probably all because nudity is a form of dress which you will call it obscene only when the accessories are not appealing! (ah hah! if you think nudists are people with no fashion sense, think again!) In the NUDE, only all that is not beautiful is obscene.(quick! let's go botox our buttocks as well! hahaha!)

In fact, sleeping naked has advantages. It allows your body to relax more immediately, and you are more likely to fall into a deeper sleep more quickly and wake up refreshed and looking better. (errr...this only applies to those sleeping alone. Others, to obtain same relaxing results, please make sure your sleeping partner is already asleep before you jump into bed in your birthday suit!)

If you are a ‘baru-kahwin’ eager to keep your wife busy for the next nine months, you will be happy to know that there is also evidence of improved fertility in men as a result of your uncovered ‘ding-dongs’ being in cooler conditions when you sleep naked. Besides, it also heightens the level of intimacy between you, and you are likely to 'dot- dot- dot' more often...

.
..and for those weight-watchers, sleeping naked may help to discourage your after bedtime fridge invasion habit. You will be too darned lazy to put on clothes again to get out to the kitchen unless you want to take the risk of being caught stark naked by other hungry family members or housemates who also habitually frequent the fridge at such odd hours. ( hmmm..maybe this was how 'the Little Nyonya' story all started... master bumping into maid in the kitchen at odd hours!)

Boxer shorts instead of sleeping naked? No, it’s not the same…Wearing any clothing including boxers could potentially cause discomfort while you sleep. The fabrics pressing against the skin and elastics causing tightness around the waist will more likely make you roll around to alleviate the discomfort, potentially causing restless sleep.


Wait a minute! Before you start tearing off your clothes to try out what 31% of men and 13% of women in America do... that is, sleeping naked, it’s best that you should know:


1. You need to keep a dress gown/sarung or a boxer near your bed for emergency use. Believe me, you don’t like to be a hotter stuff than the raging fire in case of a fire emergency.


2. Have a good blanket around to dive into in case it gets colder because being too cold causes your body to restrict your blood flow, and sleeping in these conditions too regularly will hinder your ability to self-repair and may ultimately speed up the aging process.


3. Make very sure your room door is properly locked before someone walks in on you naked and starts screaming, "OMG! I’ve never seen such a small………!”


Lastly but most importantly,


4. Sleeping naked anywhere other than your own house can be dangerous and embarrassing, a high risk of becoming a Youtube Star' and be condemned by those ‘holier than thou, but dirtier than a sow’ cavemen phor-liticians as sinful, even though you are a victim of a prank or even a scandalous plot!



That’s all and I’m off to bed now..............

GOOD NIGHT!....................

15 comments:

reanaclaire said...

hahahaha..u r funny, 9pek.. well, as i said, it is not safe to sleep naked now...if we get MOLESTED, RAPED KE, snapped pic ke.,, these buggers, the suckers (u-know-who) WILL SURELY, 100% ONE.., accuse us for tempting them in the first place and it is ALL OUR FAULT!

Lets hope that one day the buggers will get the taste of their own medicine.. OH God, forgive me.. !

9PEK9BO (ERNST) said...

Claire,
Temptations is NO SIN ma..Only YIELDING to temptation is a SIN.
Taste of their own med? Yucks!!! who wants to see a Botoxed Buttock? LOL!

JJzai said...

Don't worry,
I will ask CK to put more needles in your bed.

PureGlutton said...

OMG this is so damn funny! You are right on all counts about the DANGER of sleeping naked, even in the privacy of your own room! Can't imagine having to dash out of the house in case of emergency in all your naked glory!

Constance said...

hahaha sleeping naked is great for newlyweds after a convenient session of ... but not so for when you have kids who walk in and out banging at the door and your helper or mother being very quiet to sneak in to get the laundry from the bathroom...

9PEK9BO (ERNST) said...

Constance, I can't imagine your 4 years old Lea telling her kindie mates,"My mommy & daddy very strong one, can sleep without clothes orso cannot get sick!"..hahaha!

9PEK9BO (ERNST) said...

JJzai, I'll ask CK to do the same to your chair in college! Not needles but thumbtacks!

9PEK9BO (ERNST) said...

PureGlutton, Dashing out in naked glory during emergency for men is not really a prob cos' we have 2 hands to cover just one thing but for ladies, I'm afraid you'll be short of hands to do it adequately! hahaha!

Jarod said...

Nudity is a form of ART! Why lah spoil a perfect body..use it well lah :)

SaeWei said...

don't always sleep naked lah, later masuk angin only you know XD

Calvyn said...

haha, I try few time before when I stay at KL alone, but at home cannot... my parent around, later when they open the door, see habis habis

Hugo Lim said...

ahaahhaha... thats why my door is locked when im sleeping LOLX

kyliemc said...

lol..sleeping naked..feel so unsecure :P

9PEK9BO (ERNST) said...

Jarod~ How we love ART! hehehe!

Saewei~ Is that the cause of 'Kepala angin' too?

Calvyn~ Don't worry, your parents 'll probably exclaim " OMG! How things grow!" lol!

Hugo~ Give me five!!!!

kyliemc: 'Confucious' says: In emergency, lady with skirts up run faster than lady with skirts down...but they both cannot beat that lady with no skirts on la! Heheheheh!

Fleur-de-lis said...

yup!! why cover everything when we're all alone?? i think it's a restriction...lol...

p/s: for ladies, we would only need to cover one thing--the face....hahaha....