'X' WHO LEH? You tell me!

Finally, that '5 years once erection’ as promised by our not-so-well informed Minister to the world on international TV recently is ON ... and the game begins!

Just like the many General Elections before this, I get more & more 'tulan' as the GE fever catches on...hearing more & more lies, untruths and empty promises spitting out from those '3-legged fork-tongued' creatures who have no respect for my intelligence! KKN..MCCB!!! They might as well give out free Dunce caps and mark the word 'IDIOT' on my fingernail when we go to that ballot box!

Niamafoolat! .. even that National Panasonic TV idiot box sitting in that corner of my small living room is beginning to betray me and started taking me for an idiot!! One nite it told me that our beloved ‘Pak lala-lala-lah’ says,“ NO dissolving of Parliament tomorrow ” and when that tomorrow came that same idiot box told me that our beloved ‘Pak lala-lala-lah has dissolved Parliament’.

No wonder my relationship with that idiot-box has not been going well eversince I found this alternative box sitting on my desk now... Muaahhkkkk!!! I love my PC (petite cutey)!!! ...wondering now whether I should dump that evil lying National P...... idiot box which used to be my best companion for the last 10 years or... dump that whatever.... Nasional???? X who leh???

Anyway, I have 2 weeks to ponder & decide on my choice and I hope those politicians that come visiting in the next few days with a botox smile macam glued on their faces and an outstretched dirty hand that had just touched lonkangs and tong-sampahs when they were posing near it... on it ...and even in it for cheap media publicity will not influence my decision on my 'X' who leh?

Talking abt cheap publicity, believe me..... my constituency ex-and still YB-wannabe has got 2 or 3 ‘modeling’ albums to show... This cam-whorer had once even rushed to the scene of a burning flat just to have a photo taken of him holding the fire-hose like he was the hero that saved the day!!!..LOLs!!

The best part of the story was that this very same camwhoring YB was nowhere to be found for a year when the tenants of 101 units of low-cost rented houses in his constituency were evicted by the local council and desperately seeking for his help!(his humpty dumpty soldiers said he was away in CHINA for that long period....dunno doing what? Tatooing his eyebrows perhaps....lols!!)

X who leh?…you tell me!

WARNING-For the next few days any YB wannabe that comes bragging to me that they have done/built/provide this & that for my constituency like they were using their grandfathers’ money instead of my hard earned taxed money to provide these provisions and not to mention, the fat allowance they are paid to do just that, will be getting a ‘ptuiii!’ thank you note from yours gratefully me!!!

Thanks to the good education we fortunately once had I'm NOT that sohai they wish I am!

chap goh meh

Pic taken at Sunway Pyramid during CNY2008

‘CHAP GOH MEH’ meaning the ‘15th NIGHT’ marks the end of the Chinese New Year celebration and the first full moon of the New Year. . It was also the equivalent of ‘VALENTINE NIGHT’ for the Chinese in the olden days.
Back then, instead of roses, teddy bears, candies and a quiet hand-holding( maybe further) romantic night just for two, this night was more like a night where the normally shy amoi-damsels who were strictly not allowed to go out at night, less socialize with the opposite sex, gets their ‘ANNUAL LICENSE’ to do just that!! Tam Ka liao!!!

This means that they can all ‘go out to wet’ & ‘khow chye’(flirt with boys) all night long and ‘no diuu’ be bothered about the next door nosy aunty bitch going yakety-yak-yak around the village!

This is the night where the single amois would go throwing mandarin oranges into the sea believing that it would bring them a good husband as the saying in Hokkien goes,
“THIM KUM, KEH HO ANG”.

But….Wait!!! Before you girls dash to get your mandarin oranges to try it out, let me give you the Latest Revised Edition of this practice which is more economical and brings even better results!

Here's how you go about it.....All you need are just 2 small rocks (instead of mandarins) to throw into the river/sea, but first make sure there’s no one in the water having a night swim. If not, the only person u get is a dead swimmer!

As you throw the first rock, you say,
“THIM CHEOK THAU, KEH ENN TAU”
(throw rock, marry handsome wan)

As you throw the 2nd rock you say,
“ THIM CHEOK THAU, KEH CHIP ANG MOR LAU”
(throw rock, marry into a big house…rich-rich hubby lor)


See? It's so easy..just for 2 rocks you 'll get a rich& handsome hubby!!! But the problem here is ... you are probably missing the boat reading this a bit too late liao! hahaha!!

I have yet to come out with an edited version for guys.(Sorlee to disappoint guys like AaronWoolala and JJ!) Be patient la, maybe at the mean time, you guys try throwing RM50 notes…sure works wan!

HAPPY CHAP GOH MEH TO ALL!

GENERAL ELECTION is ON!

Here's my first post on the General Election.. more akan datang!

happy valentine!

Ooooo!! It’s February 14, VALENTINE again!… a time for the lovebirds to do their annual love dance on a day that was originally meant to honor a saint by the name of St. Valentine of Rome.

It all started because of this one cilaka emperor named Claudius II at that time in Rome who wanted to expand his military power by recruiting young men into the army

…but the youths then were too busy ‘phak-thor-ing’ making plans to start families of their own. With their ‘choy lei toh soh’ attitude, nobody was interested in going for National Service.(Real military national service la ..not like our Bolehland’s summer camp ones!)

So the emperor got ‘tulan’..and banned marriages... not allowing anyone to wed!(maybe he had in mind to start SHAOLIN TEMPLE kua..)

…but a priest by the name of Valentine got even more tulan (....maybe threelan) with the emperor’s ban of marriages and went against the order by holding underground secret weddings for the youths who were in LOVE and wanted to get married.

St.Valentine was finally arrested and sentenced to death in 269AD. While he was in jail awaiting for the sentence, many young people visited him, bearing gifts & notes (dunno got teddy bears or not then) to thank and honor him for his bravery...

So.. many many years later, this practice of gifts giving during VALENTINE DAY made Hallmark Cards, along with the many present day gift-shops owners live happily ever after!

That was how the romantic VALENTINE DAY was born.. making lovers so ‘lum’ and roses so ‘religious’ on this special day!! Religious because when you see the nicely wrapped pretty roses, you'll go, “Oh my God!” and when you see the price tag,

you’ll go, “ JESUS CHRIST!!”

HAVE A WONDERFUL VALENTINE DAY!!

Not 'LUNAR NEW YEAR' but ' LU MIA NEW FEAR!"

While we are still here in KL celebrating the LUNAR NEW YEAR... the 'LU MIA NEW FEAR ' of having to let loose Charles on his now legal freedom of riding his bike when we return to Penang keeps taunting me.

The only comfort I have now is that...

For the safety of our good citizens, our 'ever-so-clever' good gaomen made very sure that my bespectacled innocent looking cat lover Charles would not turn into a 'road MONSTER', he went through some mandatory intensified 'safe riding' lessons just before the New Year holidays.

After taking his 'undang undang' test ( meant for udang brains I think) and having tempted him to 'Mat- Rempit' in a day of practical rituals , Charles finally got his motor 'Lembu' license!!!

He insisted that all the above fuss were actually meant to protect him instead, from those 'HELL driver' aunties in our Farlim township who are still confused with what's 'kiri' and 'kanan' but yet can be so cocksure of their North, South, East..West Feng Sui thingys!

So, brimming with that same kinda excitement like newly wedded honeymooners who just got their 'license to scr......w', he pasted the 'L' stickers onto his HondaWave like any good citizen would.

So watch out there guys! Here comes the adrenalin charged teenager who is still very blur sotong with the road signs on his wavering HondaWAVE soon!!

Believe me, this is how he actually interprets some of the highway codes when I tested him....

He thinks this sign means ' YOU CAN MAT-REMPIT TILL YOU ARE 55 YEARS OLD!'

This one he says is warning him of those 'MABUK-AUNTY DRIVERS' !!!

"This sign is for reminding the aunties about their WAISTLINE
when they drive to their supper destinations lor", he insisted.

"Direction to Jesus ?"

This one says "LOOK UP when U are driving and U will surely land UP THERE in heaven lor!"


Besides his funny misinterpretation of road signs this guy thinks his 'L' plate means the followings-

1. Caution! This motorist is still LEARNING... how to CONNECT his BRAIN, LEGS and HANDS to the damned brakes system!

2. In LOVE with my bike, DONT YOU DARE SCRATCH IT!

3. LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm already finding hard to handle this one machine!

4. ..and to those who scare the hell out of him by honking from behind., this 'L' means 'LANCIAO..lu ! LOL!!!!!!!

Xing Nian Lai Lo!

With the "Xing Nian Lai Lo" song bombarding my ears daily, reminding me that CNY is juz around the corner, I had better post this before we head south to KL for our CNY..

So,here's our family wishing all our friends and visitors of 9pek9bo .....

A velly HAPPEEEEE NEW YEAR

& MAY THE YEAR OF RAT

BE THE BEGINNING OF A BETTER & HAPPIER LIFE

FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!"

If it's been too long since you last tasted happiness and oledi dunno what a smile looks like...pls refer to Charles' hamsters on the CNY banner above for smiling lessons..smile like 'keen ngah ng keen ngan' (see eyes no see teeth) like that lor!..

God Of Fortune

Like Christmas children believing that there is this bearded generous old man called Santa who could give them the goodies they wished for, Chinese adults do have their own bearded generous ah pek whom they wish would come a calling during the celebration of the Chinese New Year (mmm si la! not that bearded Ah Bhai( Mangkalai) milkman that comes delivering every morning la!)…. This ‘$ANTA’ is of a different league altogether. He’s the ‘God of FORTUNE’ alias ‘CHOY $AN YEH’ that brings $$$$$$$$... kachhing!kachhiing! Kachhiiing!!!!!

Niahmafoolat!!! That’s what they say nia… In contrary, somehow each time we get to see this ‘Choy San fler’at shopping complexes and at this time of the year, dunno why I actually get poorer. Is it juz me or juz a coincidence that whenever we get to see him, surely my wallet gets lighter & slimmer and the digits in my bank account gets younger?( how I wish it’s my body that gets all these effects ..hahaha!)

Last week, while we were in Taman Putra, Cheras (KL) morning market we met, for the first time… a lady Choi San!

I told Charles, she better be the spouse of “God of Fortune’ and not his daughter… If not, we are in trouble liao if she is Miss Fortune (misfortune) the daughter... hahaha!

Choy San Phorr standing in for Choy San Yeh.. See?, Nepotism is not only popular among politicians...even the gods are fast catching up! (Saik Lo!)

What next? How about Choy San Chyes? I 've got one here waiting to sign up as one! This fler' no need 'tee koay' to make him write good reports to heaven .. just give him sweet sweet SMILES for his camera lens and he 'll surely give you a thumbs-up report to the cyber heaven!

For good fortunes, just SMILE when you see this CHOY SAN CHYE!

Once again, GONGXI FA CAI!!!! from all of us here.