Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wanna pee on your Christmas tree! (re-edited)
"On the 5th day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me..
Five ..golden rings
Four calling Birds
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree.."
Today is the 5th day of Christmas…and I was listening to this song.. The 12 Days of Christmas.
Hmm.. I was thinking ..
What the heck do you want 5 golden rings when you only have 4 fingers and a thumb on each hand? Besides, I don’t think you wanna wear a thumb ring if you know that wearing a thumb ring indicates you are inviting buggering posterior pain! lol! (According to what I read in the Urban Dictionary...hahaha!)
Your true love has also given you four calling birds? Hmmm...four ‘calling birds’ and my mind started picturing four china-babes yakety-yaking on their hand phones asking," Xian xern, yau suang suang ma?" which then, shouldn't they be called four ‘calling chickens’ instead? (keo kay?) ...and what or who the eff are those three French hens given on the third day...huat kok kay? Lol!
Calling or not, French hens, turtle doves and partridge are all birds. Sorry for you dear, you really have one cuckoo for a true love! What does your true love want you to do with all these birds? Start a bird farm after Christmas?
Really if I have a true love that sends me nothing but birds for five consecutive days, I will surely flip the bird (point middle finger) to that bird brain, especially when I am in such foul mood these days!
It’s a dog life for me since……….two months back and I am so pissed that I feel like pissing on every Christmas tree I come across! Serious!
I needed to release some steam from this pressure cooker brain that has robbed me of my desire to open my eyes each morning as Christmas is no longer what it used to be.
So, I went even more cuckoo than your bird brain true love did, I wrote and sang my own obnoxious version of that song as a de-stress therapy to release those pent-up anger that was building up in me.
..and guess what, the 1st time I sang it on Christmas eve, the phone lines of my whole block went dead! There goes our internet access on Christmas Eve! My disappointed #1 son who was looking forward to play his online poker game, joined me in letting off steam that evening ...so we had our very own group de-stress therapy session, singing our 5 days of Christmas....