HAPPY NEW 2010!

Dear friends & visitors,

Here are my sincere ‘9pek9bo’ New Year wishes... cracked my old 2009 brain thinking them out just for you!
Have a Happy New 2010 Year folks!

Wanna pee on your Christmas tree! (re-edited)

"On the 5th day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me..
Five ..golden rings
Four calling Birds
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree.."


Today is the 5th day of Christmas…and I was listening to this song.. The 12 Days of Christmas.

Hmm.. I was thinking ..
What the heck do you want 5 golden rings when you only have 4 fingers and a thumb on each hand? Besides, I don’t think you wanna wear a thumb ring if you know that wearing a thumb ring indicates you are inviting buggering posterior pain! lol! (According to what I read in the Urban Dictionary...hahaha!)

Your true love has also given you four calling birds? Hmmm...four ‘calling birds’ and my mind started picturing four china-babes yakety-yaking on their hand phones asking," Xian xern, yau suang suang ma?" which then, shouldn't they be called four ‘calling chickens’ instead? (keo kay?) ...and what or who the eff are those three French hens given on the third day...huat kok kay? Lol!









Calling or not, French hens, turtle doves and partridge are all birds. Sorry for you dear, you really have one cuckoo for a true love! What does your true love want you to do with all these birds? Start a bird farm after Christmas?

Really if I have a true love that sends me nothing but birds for five consecutive days, I will surely flip the bird (point middle finger) to that bird brain, especially when I am in such foul mood these days!

It’s a dog life for me since……….two months back and I am so pissed that I feel like pissing on every Christmas tree I come across! Serious!

I needed to release some steam from this pressure cooker brain that has robbed me of my desire to open my eyes each morning as Christmas is no longer what it used to be.

So, I went even more cuckoo than your bird brain true love did, I wrote and sang my own obnoxious version of that song as a de-stress therapy to release those pent-up anger that was building up in me.

..and guess what, the 1st time I sang it on Christmas eve, the phone lines of my whole block went dead! There goes our internet access on Christmas Eve! My disappointed #1 son who was looking forward to play his online poker game, joined me in letting off steam that evening ...so we had our very own group de-stress therapy session, singing our 5 days of Christmas....

Pissed & Choi!

Christmas Eve day started with my body declaring itself a holiday as well…I had never felt so decrepit and weak ever before! I told JBoy perhaps it was time that dad could really be ‘home’ for Christmas after all. He cut me short with a “CHOI!”

“You mean ‘JOY’?” I blathered on teasingly to which he returned with a very ‘toolan’ stare, feeling pissed …lol! There you are…. instead of ‘PEACE & JOY’, I gave son a ‘PISSED & CHOI’ Christmas Eve..Trust me for grating on people’s nerves. hohoho!

I really didn’t know what was happening to my body. All I knew was I was sapless on a day I needed strength to overcome the sadness still in me.

Yeh-Soh niamah! (err.. I mean Holy mother Mary!) I wasn’t asking for the same youthful energy of those wild Ah Beng revelers at Gurney Drive who could do 'WWF diving' from the top of a car on Christmas Eve, all I wanted was just enough ‘oomph’ for the usual evening walk which is the only thing I don’t feel guilty of enjoying these days …and I was denied even that! sighh!!!

Neither was I planning to go waste the good Christmas Eve evening intoxicating my already half-gone brain meaninglessly with some old fogies and end up singing the mabuk Jingle Bells song of…......... …















....limpek was just only looking forward to a quiet evening at home, minus the Christmas tree and all the decorations this year to rest this tired old soul and to contemplate on unresolved matters of the heart…

Finding comfort in this song....
God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay....................

Have a Merry LOL Christmas!

Yea…CHRISTMAS is just around the corner and for the first time in my entire life I am missing all those wonderful feelings of Peace, Joy, Happiness and goodwill! Missing getting Santamental like everyone, exchanging hellos with strangers and good buys with friends...haizzzzz...

I have been singing ‘WHITE CHRISTMAS’ the whole year round and guess what, all I got is a ‘BLUE’ one instead! So much for that ‘Law of Attraction’ theory!

KNN! If only Santa could get me a shrinking gun, I would want to shrink all those smart-asses who profess this theory of the Law of Attraction and shaft their asses onto the pinnacles of Christmas trees like tree top angels! And, that Zig-zagging Ziglar guy should be too happy to really 'See You At The Top!' (Oops! Better forget it! Actually, I am one of these ardent believer too…lol!)

Shit! Even that therapeutic ‘Jingle Bells’ tune is no longer working it's magic on me anymore! This song which has a chorus line sounding like, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride on errr… one whore’s opened legs!” had never failed to lift me ‘up’ since I was a kid, pun unintended. .lol!

Was also thinking of going to a beach and start screaming my lungs out in the quietness of the night to destress, but the fear that I may hear tsunami phantoms screaming back at me from the sea deterred me greatly.

So the next best thing I could do was to draw some cartoons and share some cheers here.

Have a very MERRY LOL CHRISTMAS!

BreakMe! Make Me!

Finally watched the long awaited 2012 movie... For everyone, it's a good disaster movie... but to me, it was disastrously more than just that! There were some scenes that actually 'tsunami-ed' my emotions.

There was this particular scene pulling at the strings of my heart making me mushy and almost teary! (The old musician in the cruise ship who suddenly realized that life is too short to hold grudges, tried to call his estranged son ...but that unforgiving young man hesitated just for a second and…KABOOM! It was GAME OVER! Really Hum-ka-ling!) No, I didn’t need any tissues. … I just smoked myself dry! (ETA- Just heard from a nephew that his16 y.o. brother was sniffling watching this scene....found my soul mate in sensivity? LOL!)

Mid way through the movie, my thoughts wandered away...recalling I once asked someone how we should end the last seconds of our lives if 2012 is for real. The answer was, “Let’s all hug and wait for the final second.” ………and here’s where I learn the great painful lesson of NOTHING is PERMANENT in life as life itself is not even permanent!

Ya, life is a roller coaster with its UPS and DOWNS. But, the trouble is…I am now like totally thrown out of the ride and hitting hard on the ground! Any further down, they’ll have to give me a headstone and heap me a mound. The epitaph reading......


Its' nothing 'kiasu' or what ...but limpek don’t even have to join you ban-ban-tan (wait) till 2012, my world has already crashed on me!


So… like a tsunami victim trying to salvage whatever he can find, I’m now still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart among the debris of my life strewn all over in the aftermath..sniffle...sniffle ..sniffle!







All I could do now is to find a comforting spot in that gaping hole which once housed my heart……. to endure the pain while the Good Lord tears me down piece by piece in his big plan to renovate my soul, changing my wounds into wisdom. A wiser man now but sadder one too...Can't I just be that happy witty fool?..haizzz!

HE has to BREAK me to MAKE me, I know… but why can’t my 'Yeh-Soh kor' plan a better time for all these? No more Christmases again for me? Ouchhh!


Okay, okay....That is as far as I could go sharing my woes because I suddenly remember that "Solitude" poem which says, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Cry, and you cry ALONE."

Keeping myself healthy and in shape everyday.....just in case I have to run like mad in 2012 ....lol!

Btw, Waterfall Garden is in the vicinity of many Indian temples ..need such colorful attire to blend into the crowd ma..