Alien vs 9pek9bo - The abduction protection

Upon my reappearance after MIA for a month here, I was amused by the following comments from my blogger friends-

tsp- “thought you went missing in action to some planet mars...haha..”

JoZefoo - “you're back! i tot you were kidnapped by aliens!”

Mafoolat! These fellas must be soothsayers of the 21^stcentury!
They could not be any more ‘chun’….. I was indeed abducted by some alien beings just after reading and publishing their ‘prophecies’!

It happened while I was taking the rare opportunity of being home alone to have a nice ‘paklah-ing’ nap on the sofa…

Like all other alien abductions, leempek was taken aboard their motherfarker-ship for interrogations and studies as a sample inhabitant of this planet Earth. (don’t blardy ask me! It’s not my fault that even with those big bulky eyes they were so blind in their choice of sampling .. ok?)

There, like a guinea pig, leempek was poked and prodded all over (except the place where Sai’Foo likes it best of course!)

Contrary to those fierce and hostile stereotyped alien characteristics we see in movies, my abductors were NOT anything like that and they didn’t even need to wear those' NAnti Rasuah’ buttons to convince me that they were such a good, friendly, courteous and very well mannered lot.

Naturally, I felt comfortable and even gave them my best smile asking, "Hey guys! You got Facebook or Friendster or not?"

Alien: Huh? It's strange!!!..why aren't you afraid of us?

Me: Why should I be?

Alien: We're Martians you know? ... you have been abducted/arrested/kidnapped by us and may not be able to see your family or even the planet Earth for that matter again! Aren't you scared and worried?

Me: Ohhh!Don't be silly..It's nothing that scary! Back where I came from, people abduct or arrest you to protect you...Nice leh? hahaha! You don't believe you go and ask that 'Hamik Sai' fler.

Alien: ??????Where are you from?

Me: Ohhh! I'm a MereyShian!

Alien: “MeReysHiAN? Oh My hOLy GReeN MARtiAN sHiT!!!! Let's not waste our time here..these species aren't intelligent enough to be a threat to our planet”

They then stamped me with this and threw me out of their motherfarker-ship immediately...

and I woke up on my sofa unharmed except for my legs, which are now a little longer after the pulling just like yours... hahahaha!

Welcoming LAI WAN SIK! (916) my kind of Malaysia Day!

Oh weeeee!!! After a month’s break which coincided with the holidays of 'those things better not mention at night’, leempek is back 9pek9bo-ing here again!

The August month that went by was indeed a helluva busy and eventful month for me, not that it has anything to do with Hell-gate being opened! You bet, I was even more busy than those ahem! ahem!... ‘better not mention at night’ holiday makers on earth!

and now ....TA’ DAHHH! here’s sweet sweet September, the month I was anxiously waiting for .. all excited and anticipating for a‘new DAWN for Malaysia’ to arrive..

Please tell me….is the 916 number ‘chun’ or not?

Just staring at this number gets me all EXCITED!!! Dunno why leh?...Whenever I look at it, I find myself smiling silly and my day brightens up. (Oops! Damn it! I just revealed my most vulnerable time for Charles to strategically plan his robbery on me! I can imagine him hypnotizing me with his chanting, “916!, 916!..916 ..Dad, can I have some $$$ to buy this?)

While the number 916 looks and sounds pleasant to many like me, I read that on the other hand, it also did strike terror to some 'BohNow -hamkalings' like as if they had encountered ‘those things better not mention at night ’… causing them to shit in their pants that were covering their shrunken balls and running off in haste to hide in some Taiwanese farms!

Let’s hope those 'BohNow-hamkalings' find a herbal cure for their diarrhoea and their shrunken balls there ....at the mean time, here's what leempek recommend to stop their purging & to inflate back their balls...."tRY IT! yOU'll LiKE IT!" so says that Uni drop-Out who swears in the name of 'GAWD'....

Let’s all cross our fingers, arms, legs, balls or whatever it takes and you have it, to PRAY for the realization of this very much awaited 916, the only light we have in the present DARKNESS befalling our beloved nation.

O' SUmMi V'rOO

At a Senior citizen/retiree club in the very near future….

Luan2 Sek: Hi Summi, how do you like this place?

SummiVroo: I tell you…This place is great, I really love it! It's wonderful becos’ yeh-vryone ‘ere is so courteous and respectful.

Luan2 Sek: Really ah? That’s good to know because you know la fren…. you were not exactly a popular minister all those years.

SummiVroo: Ayo yo! Neverrrr mind those stoopid people la! Let me tell you about how wonderfully dey treat each other ‘ere..

There's a retired policeman -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't been in the force for 30 years …….but and yeh-vryone still call him 'Tuan'!

There is also a former judge here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 40 years and yeh-vryone still address him as ‘Yang arif’…….

and some more, there's a physician here – 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and yeh-vryone still call him 'Doctor'!

Luan2 Sek: So… what about you? What do they call you here?

SummiVroo: Oh me?.. In spite that I haven't had sex for 35 years, yeh-vryone here still call me "the f@rking Indian!”

Bon Odori Penang 2008

Bon Odori, the Japanese equivalent to our Chinese ‘Cheng-Beng’ festival is a traditional custom to honor the spirits of departed ancestors. It’s kind of a family reunion holiday during which the Japanese Buddhists return to ancestral family places to visit and clean their ancestors' graves.

This is also when the spirits of ancestors are believed to be making their annual visits to the household altars ( since it's a family reunion ..so the late ah Kong, Ah Mah & Ah Ah Chor all must come back also lor! hehehe!)

I was first introduced to this wonderful Bon Odori event in Penang way back in the early 80’s when I got acquainted with an official of the Japanese Consulate here who verbally invited me to the event held at the Youth Park then.

At that time, the Bon Odori festival was mainly an all Japanese community affair....It was like all the Japanese families in Penang were out there for a picnic in the sun.

The Bon Dances then were performed on the field at the Youth Park by a long single-file train of little Japanese children, all cutely dressed in their best yukatas looking so cute and impressive in their flawless dancing! (Oh gosh! come to think if it.. they should all be in the late 20's or early 30's by now!)

This annual event was later moved to the Botanical Gardens where the Bon Dances were performed by a small group of Japanese expatriate adults as well as members of the Japanese Graduates Society before it was finally adopted by the Penang State government as a state event and since held annually at the Esplanade Padang in a very much larger scale.

Apart from Christmas, this wonderful Bon Odori festival has always been my favorite event that I would not miss to bring my kids to ..(Well..err..at least until now when poor 9pek9bo dad is dumped for the preferred company of their friends instead..haizzz!)

So, instead of staying 'HOME-ALONE' and 'yak chiew' by myself, limpek went for the 'Full Moon' dinner of my nephew's first born and went to bed early missing this year's Bon Odori ..............

Needless to say, my photo-shooting crazy son, CharlesKey went on a cam-whoring spree at the fest and came back with some pics ...making me even more regretful for not being there..(haizzz again!)

A Spectacular Bon odori drum performance on the center stage....

As before, one of the many 'Bon' Dances lead by a single file of dancers on stage
for revelers to imitate and follow the dance steps.

Charles told me that this year, there were too many photo hunters occupying the surrounding space of the stage that were meant for revelers to dance along ..thus unlike previously, the mass dancing was hardly successful this year even though it was not raining like it used to be all these years...what a waste!

Performers traditionally dressed in classic ancient costumes

OMG! Gigantic lotus shaped hats! ...rain or shine keeps one dry and fine!

Hmmm... what a wonderful idea! Carrying a little pillow on your head ..
can go 'paklah-ing' comfortably anytime, anywhere you want..hehehe!

CharlesKey finally wore the Yukata I bought from Japan after hesitating for 3 donkey years..but alas! ..dad was not there to see! Was told that some SYT (Sweet young things) mistook him for a real Japanese teen and invited him for cam-whoring! Swt!

Adrian looking seriously pro with his Camera... or was he watching closely on Rbx?

CharlesKey (looking cool or 'lansi' like that) with PTPL college-mates...
Sherlyn and Jason (JJ)

Adrian the photographer turned Japanese 'Satay-man'! hahaha!

and finally ....ShoutOut members with their funny & crazy 'lala' 1,2,3,4,5 poses!

tHE rOOkie cameraman @ I LOVE PG Brand event.

My tired eyes were ‘Paklah-ing’ away at siesta time last Saturday when CharlesKey suddenly suggested going to the 'I LOVE PENANG BRAND' Campaign at New World Park to listen to some photography guru’s talk.

For the passion of my beloved son, my mind said, “YES! OK!..No Prob!” but somehow, my tired body objected saying “NO! ...Not that I'm unpatriotic or I don't love PENANG..It's the damned weather I so tulan!”

Anyway, we settled going for the night program ..a fashion & variety show where CharlesKey could practice shooting catwalk models while dad could once again be like a photography ‘kindie’ student following ‘teacher’ cum son, Charles for a field trip lesson on how to use a DSLR camera.

The night turned out surprisingly to be kind of meeting up with old friends & acquaintances event for me.... Richard Rivali (the Fashion designer who was a hairstylist some 20yrs back), Rebecca (the dancing violinist who performed at a bank's function that I emceed 2 years ago) and the VIP of the night, YB Danny Law (who was my comrade in the bank Union as well as the DAP party since 20 years back)

tHe finale of Richard Rivali's Fashion Show...

Rebecca,'The Dancing Violinist' and her brother
gave a mesmerizing superb performance that night!

The night ended with some sexy Belly Dancing performances. Errr....wonder why they call this 'Belly' dancing when the butts are doing the job actually? hahaha!

"Oei! Ah bah...lu Chiak po ley tua eh arr??"
( meaning ..You eat glass and got transparent issit?)
No la...it wasn't like that ...just kidding nia..
It was me who actually went behind Charles to shoot him in action... hahaha!

My sifu & son, Charleskey in action... sitting on floor just below the stage ..
luckily models were wearing formal wears and not mini skirts! Otherwise, seet pun cheh cheh!

Charles taking a break ..too much shooting (and ogling..) eyes pun tired liao!

tHE LP~PL StoRY

BOSS said to LULU, the secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary LULU make call to husband : For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself…chiak ka ki liao!

Husband, so happy bey tahan.. quickly make call to secret lover, LILY: My wife, LULU is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together!

Secret lover LILY make call to AH BOY whom she is giving private tuition:
I ‘ve something important to do for a week, so NO tuition class this week.

AH BOY make call to his grandpa: Kongkong ar! Ah Boy NO TUITION CLASS this week wor...b'coz teacher is busy. So let's spend the week together harrrr?

Grandpa (who is actually the BOSS) make call to his secretary LULU:This week I have to spend time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting anymore.

Secretary LULU make call to her husband:This week my boss has some work, we canceled our trip orledi liao!

Husband make call to secret lover, LILY: We cannot spend this week together, my wife LULU has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover LILY make call to AH BOY whom she is giving private tution: Ah Boy, This week NO CHANGE!.....we will have tuition class as usual!

AH BOY make call to his Grandpa (the BOSS): Kong-Kong ah! My tuition teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorlee Kong-Kong..... Ah Boy cannot keep you company this week.

Grandpa (the BOSS) make call to his secretary LULU: Don't worry this week we…………

SOTONG MEE A La Carte...satu lagi!

Well...looks like Sotong Mee has become the favorite noodle in Malaysia especially in the political arena these days! So far, we have been served 2 servings of Sotong Mee a LA CARTE since 1998 by our good BohNow conspiring cooks crooks and if you are 'blur-sotong' on what 'sotong' leempek is ranting about...here's the menu~



NO.1 SOTONG MEE 1998 AZiZaN

July 28, 1999 - Azizan Abu Bakar, Anwar's former family driver, told the court he was sodomized up to 15 times by Anwar! (YUCKS!!! If only the Casting Director picked someone more appealing than this Mr.Arse-Season driver fler, it would have been more convincing instead of making us all went uuuuaaakkk-ing into the toilet bowls!)

On Aug 8, 2000 POOR ANWAR WAS SENTENCED TO 9 YEARS IN PRISON FOR SODOMY!!!!….

BUT after buta buta chiak curry rice for 4 years, on Sept 2, 2004, a panel of three judges of the Federal Court (Malaysia's highest court) OVERTURNED the sodomy conviction by a 2 to 1 verdict, finding contradictions in the prosecution's case.

1998 AZIZZAN SOTONG MEE Review:
Too Tasteless!
Old ingredients used!
HARD TO SWALLOW THIS!
The Cook's a mad old man!

______________________________________

No.2- Sai~FULL SOTONG MEE

June 29, 2008- Saiful Bahari, the 23-year-old former aide to Anwar, lodged a police report alleging Anwar had sodomised him at a condominium in Damansara last Thursday!


Faster than you can say" Kanninehh Hao siao!" the photograph of the aide with a staff member of Deputy Prime Minister suggesting ......... started appearing in the net! (Our DPM, explained that the picture was taken three months ago when Mohd Saiful went to his office to apply for a government scholarship.)


hmmmm ...so considerate and kind.. entertaining personally to scholarship application of a university drop-out pun....how nice!



SAi~FUll SOTONG MEE Review:

Like the name "SAI-full" suggests.. it taste like shit!
Imported from unknown source!
Couldn't buy the 1st one...DON'T EXPECT ME TO BUY THIS!

My son's Yodeling peformance at Fete de la Musique 2008

Sanzhuang de gu niang ( Chinese version of Casting my Lasso to the sky)

She Taught Me How to Yodel

After my earlier post on my son, Charles's Yodeling practices, I did a check on my old neighbors (We 've since moved).. Found out that actually none of them were affected by the racket we made when we had our family 'yodeling' fun sessions back then.

I'm concluding this because none showed any sign of hearing disability especially when I went....

" Ayoh! Aunty..so long didn't see you ..you still look same same...so young!"

K@nn*h! Not only were they not deaf but were somehow so quick in responding "No la...I put on weight liao" obviously fishing for more compliments from leempek! Hahaha!

Yo- der – le –ee-deeeeeeeeeee!

Yo de – le –ee-deeeeeeeeeee!

Yo de - lo –oo -dooooooooo!

If you hear weird shrieking vocal-sound like this at New World Park tonight …don’t be alarmed….. It’s just my son, Charleskey the passionate photographer cum blogger singing two of his favorite country western yodels on occasion of the ‘ Fete de la Musique’ there!

Fête de la Musique in Penang

Date: Saturday, 28 June 2008
Time: 10am-11pm
Venue: New World Park & Khoo Kongsi

The Music Fest, brought to you annually by Alliance Française of Penang is a whole day affair and the Charles is slotted “to spoil your appetite’ at around

7.00pm -7.30pm! (part of the new government’s program to help you loose weight ma! good leh?)

Yes…beside photography and blogging, Charles also has special interest in ‘yodeling’...a very challenging weird style of singing he started to pick up during his preparation for his PMR exams as a stress reliever some 3 years back. (just hope our neighbors share this same interest…which I doubt they do. In fact they should be having hearing problems by now and no longer can whisper-gossip anymore… hehehe!)

If you are blur on what yodeling is …

It’s kinda of voice–break falsetto singing…( going from chest voice to falsetto and back repeatingly) very much like what chimpanzees do when they chase one another in the zoo! (Now that explains why Tarzan makes such noise as he swings from tree to tree…he’s communicating in yodels and NOT because ants got into his loin cloth!)

Yodeling originated in the Austrian Alps as communications between next-door neighbors (that’s what people do without mobile phones…raise your voice and yell at one another la!) It was originally called "Juchizn," an array of short yells which had different meanings, probably like "your cooking sucks!" or "is my hubby there?"

Like what’s happening to the present day hand-phones, yodeling turned out to be so much fun that it quickly turned into an art form and it expanded into the Swiss and Bavarian Alps…and later became a part of country and western music of the cowboys.

Note: for those of you who would like to try out yodeling like what Charles is doing tonite, here’s my advice-

1) Make sure you have very solid sound-proofed windows and

2) If not, be prepared to leave your home quietly through the back door for the next 2 weeks or, wait for some other tragedies (like earthquake or flood) to happen in your neighborhood before you dare to step out through your front door again..whatever comes first...hehehe!