Now..the Fathers on SexEdu K'shen (updated version)

(Written in Singlish/Manglish ..anything but English!)

AhLian’s Papa: Blarder! Your lau phor got tell you about NS Sex edu-k’shen thing or not?

AhHwa’s Farder: Aiyah..Got lor! No nid worree so much wan la! When my children small small time, I already teach them Sex edu-k’shen

AhLian’s Papa: Waahh! U so kool wan leh! I paiseh teach them la! I remember last time when they small, AhLian asked me why her blarder got ‘bird bird’ she dun have one. I also dunno how to tell her. So I told her she also got wannnn! …but daddy ask God to keep it inside her..sked people steal ma! hahaha!

AhHwa’s Farder: Aiyah! You should tell her the truth ..no nid to bluff her laidat one ma. Just tell her not to worry, she also got something her blarder also don’t have…and with what she got, she can have as many as what her blarder got when she grows up time! You say true or not? This is Sex edu-k’shen ma!

AhLian’s Papa: Aiyo! Laidat orso can ar? Err..I was orso right ma, boy or girl orso same same one la.. just that boys got their ovaries hanging outside nia…not exactly accurate but still a bit Sex-edu k’shen ma..hehehe!!!

AhHwa’s Farder: Also, since she was a small girl…I sked my daughter next time dunno how to refuse and say ‘NO’ to people when she big time, limpek orso got teach her the words 'DON’T!' and 'STOP!’

Limpek then encouraged her to use these words as often as she could so that next time when big liao those words can easy easy come out from her mouth when boyflen wants to do something naughty to her.. clever or not?

AhLian’s Papa: cleverr!!! but errrrr....u got think ornot har....What if she next time so fluent with two words that she orso can join them together and say “DON”T STOP! ..Oh God!... PLEASE DON”T STOP!” laidat orso wor????

AhHwa’s Farder: …diuuu lorrrrr!. Never realize that also!. But no worry la.. now that they are oledi quite big, I orso got teach them things like SAFE SEX ma…

AhLian’s Papa: SAFE SEX? ….you mean as advised by our Ministry of Health Minister of Health …to Check everywhere see got hidden CCTVs or not first before doing anything silly ar?

AhHwa’s Farder: No la.. I’m talking about putting on the rubber.. that ‘You can't go wrong if you cover your dong’ condom thingy la!

AhLian’s Papa: Walau! you so open minded one .. encourage them to to it …some more teach them ‘how to gift wrap the member on such occasions’ Leempek salute you la!

AhHwa’s Farder: Not exactly as you see it! I only pretend to encourage nia.. I bluff bluff teach them hor… ...‘Before using condom, it is velly important to unroll completely and check for any lubang (holes) and the fine prints at the far bottom, where Asians like us usually dun roll that far down to notice it’…Limpek cunning or not?

AhLian’s Papa: Hahaha! You very jia-lat! … by the time he can put it on after checking..Chinese says ’cock also crow liao’ and Ang Mors say ‘Cows come home oledi’

AhHwa’s Farder: Brader, it’s more ‘chun’ if we mix up the two phrases to say ‘the cock cums home oledi’ ..hahaha!!

AhLian’s Papa: By the way blarder, you got worry ornot about the NS Sex Edu K’shen program? Can we really trust these peeple to teach SEX to our children?

AhHwa’s Farder: no nid worry so much la… if ever this NS Sex Edu K’shen is on, the authorities will make sure that all Sex Instructors are specially trained and highly qualified ones with certs such as this ma..

click to enlarge

AhLian’s Papa: the grade 1 mia instructors good enuff...allowed to talk only and NO practical SEXedu K'shen. Lai dat limpek orso feel better and safer ..if not they take advantage of the situation to touch here, touch there, touch everywhere!

AhHwa's Farder: dun worree la...I think hor ..the only practical they may have is to play play with dolls imported from Hong Kong! They can go "Laidis, laidat, laidis and laidat...Oops! eeeek!! Why got baby come out one? hahaha!

The Hongkong Family Planning Assoc. dolls for SexEdu K'shen-BEFORE



Dolls AFTER practical SexEdu K'shen!